This is a serious report- no really.

Like I said- very serious

We're sponsored by doritoes and Ryans stinky ugly shoe

YAY US!

A special report on iraq or something like that??

Brian the weather boy and his "warm front"

We were apparently taken over by Iraq...and americans apparently have small penises.

trying to get the sign to work before the 11 o'clock news

Uh- Dave, this isn't the naked news

the rise of cigarette prices- no dice

he's going to chug the vodka to spite the cigarette company??

Nickerson is our new appointed leader, and I his vice president

uhhh...nickerson?? :D

This is the segment of the show where Ruth dances

In Closing:

Ryan has a Large Penis, and Ruth is Awesome.